I watched a TED talk in a Bonner meeting today about a guy who made it a goal to seek out people and tell somebody that he is thankful for them every day for a year.
I felt inspired by the video and while I know I don’t say it to everybody who deserves it, I’m so thankful and I try to tell people that. With thanksgiving coming, I thought I’d try to sit and really think about some of the little things that I’m thankful for that really are the big things. I’m going to write a few down and post them when I can, and maybe someday I’ll work up the courage to tell them.
I’m thankful for my third grade teacher, Mrs. Fillers. She had a schedule where she would sit next to a different person in the class every day, but since the tables were round, I always rushed to the lunchroom so I could sit on the other side of her, even when it wasn’t my turn. I always dominated the conversation and she never said anything- she always listened so patiently and loved me so well. After I finished third grade, we sent emails back in forth all summer because I loved her so. Looking back, she was an angel. I don’t know if I would have been as patient and kind to my annoying 8 year old self.
I’m thankful for my big brother, Chris. Today is his 23rd birthday, but it couldn’t possibly have been that long since he unwrapped his first iPhone in his 16th birthday dinner at Olive Garden. It seems impossible that it’s been 5 years since I threw a fit on his 18th birthday. Is it weird to be sentimental about your big brother growing up? Chris is the best big brother. I don’t know anybody else who has been there for me in all of the ways Chris has, from tough love to juicebox-chugging contests in his car on the way home from school. There’s no place I’d rather be but sitting far apart on the big brown sectional couch in our old living room, showing each other the best memes we found while scrolling through the internet, and starting rants any given topic, starting with “you know what’s funny?” I love you and I appreciate you, Chris. I don’t tell you enough.
I’m thankful for my middle school and high school band directors, who put up with endless shit I gave them by being the biggest attention hog- but encouraged me endlessly and gave me every bit of affirmation I craved. For letting me have the big solos. I miss playing oboe.
I’m thankful for my neighbor Hailee who lived across the street from my old house. She always let me come over to her house cuz she had the best toys and her room was always a lot cleaner than mine. She let me listen to her Hannah Montana CDs and we played with barbies and bows and arrows and pretended to be spies on a secret mission. I don’t know when or why I stopped playing with her and the other kids in the neighborhood, but I wish I hadn’t. I’d be down for some Hannah Montana CDs right about now.
I’m thankful for my dog Zeke. He passed away in May after putting up with my family for a whole lot of years. He was always pretty smelly no matter how many baths we gave him, but he was a great listener and he ate everything I dropped and was a great cuddler. When I was little, Mom and Dad used to tell him to come and wake us up in the mornings, and he’d come up to our rooms and jump in bed with us (even though that was the only time he was allowed upstairs.) He went through my trash and ate things a lot. He wouldn’t eat his food until my family was done singing the blessing before we started eating. He was always in the room the most people were in, laying in the middle of the floor because he wanted to be with us. The day after we got him, we let him off the leash in the park and he came running at me and knocked me down. I think he was just excited to see me. I’d let him do it again today if I had the option. I hope he knew how much we loved him when he passed away.
It’s an emotional thing to do- thinking about the people you love who have shaped you and trying to articulate how they’ve changed you.
More to come. I’m sufficiently nostalgic now. Goodnight, friends, I’m thankful for you. ❤️